Reasons Hunter the Cheetah Should Have Been The Protagonist In Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage

Now I’m not saying that there was anything wrong with Spyro, he saved the day, but who taught him how to get around? Who was clearly the better of the two at jumping? Which I’m sure you know was a very important part of the game. Who knew archery?

                                                   
                                                             This guy, that's who!
 
Spyro landed in Avalar and didn’t have a fucking clue where he was or what the hell was going on, I’ve my suspicions that he’d just spent the past week binge drinking. The community took him in and taught him the ropes and showed him around, and that’s fine. They’re good hosts. But when it came time to save the place suddenly they left it to Spyro? Hunter could have cleaned the place out all by himself. He knew the geography, he knew the locals, he was far more capable to take care of shit then Spyro. But I guess he was just lazy, or maybe and I hope this isn’t the case has some sort of confidence problems, which is sad because Hunter’s a nice guy.

At the very least Spyro could have taken him along and got him to help out, then everything would have been sorted in half the time, and they could have went splits with that douche Moneybags The Bear. In fact, Hunter already knew how to swim, he owned a whole lot of deep sea diving equipment, and he could have easy jumped over those bridges that Spyro splashed out all his gems on getting down.

                                                    

Now we have to face facts, maybe Spyro might have been a little bit better then Hunter at say breathing fire? But what those that matter when Hunter has spent the majority of his life learning how to shoot arrows, he must be a pro at it by now. His name is Hunter for gods sake, I think he knows what he’s doing.

When all is said and done I think the most important thing here is that Hunter is much older than Spyro and can make better judgement calls. Spyro is just a kid, which is made explicit clear in the first game by the the sheer size of all the other dragons.

Spyro did save the day, we’ll give him his due, but the facts remain. Hunter was the obvious choice as the protagonist in this game. I guess it’s all Elora the Fauns fault.

                                         
                           Do you see what I mean? What. A. Bitch.





 Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr

Vernon Dursley (The Uncle in Harry Potter) Is Actually a Tragic Hero

People have theorised about Claudius in Shakespeare’s Hamlet for a long time. While he is the villain of the play, others have felt that he is actually the hero, led astray. While we’ll leave that to others, I think the same thing can be said about Vernon Dursley, Harry Potter’s cruel uncle. He made Harry sleep in a closet underneath the stairs before eventually and generously allowing him to stay in Dudley’s second bedroom.

Most people have written this character off as a necessity to show the viewer/reader that Harry is living a horrible life, and that this escape to Hogwarts a world of magic and awe inspiring things is the best possible thing that could happen to Harry. But a lot of people don’t seem to think of this story from Vernon’s point of view. Because if they did, they would see that Vernon is actually a good person, and a character that I’m sure a lot of people could relate to in their own lives. He’s basically Harrys father, despite not showing any outward affection towards him, he cares, a lot. It’s hard to tell someone you love them, and he’s dealing with Harry the only way he knows how. His spoiling of Dudley is merely him making up for his mistreating of Harry. It all probably goes back to Vernon’s own childhood. He had issues, I’m not denying, but there’s more to this character than meets the eye.

1. He’s Scared

Vernon is not a direct relation of the Potter family, he came into their lives through his marriage of Petunia Dursley. It’s no wonder that he would be scared. He was introduced into a world of magic, not just magic but also evil magic. “There’s a ‘Dark Lord’? Um, ok…Oh, he wants to kill you and your family does he James? Oh my God, the one who should not be named killed James and Lily, and now we have to raise their magic son. Shit.”

Then they raised the baby Harry, always wondering what he will grow up to be. The kid has freaking superpowers! I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him. So it kind of makes sense that his treatment of him hasn’t been too great.

Vernon knew a lot of things that Harry didn’t and he treated him the way he did out of fear, but also out of a sense of duty. He knew that Voldemort was going to seek revenge on Harry, and that Harry would have a lot to deal with, and would have to be incredible tough to be able to survive, so he stuck him in the closet, and made him work the house. Not because he was cruel, but he was training Harry. Basically what I’m trying to say is that he’s Obi Wan Kanobi.

                                       

                                               Look into his eyes, the poor lad is terrified.

 
2. His Job

Vernon is the director of a drill-making firm called Grunnings. He is very successful in his job, and works very hard. There is scene in one of the films (and the book I’m sure, but I haven’t read them) where Vernon has an important meeting in his home with some business people. He decides that Harry should just stay in his room, and not introduce his guest to him. Which makes perfect sense, since Harry is freaking magic, and he wants this meeting to be completely magic free, as I’m sure most people do in their business arrangements.

So Harry eventually screws the whole thing up and uses loads of magic. Everything goes shit ways, and he puts bars on Harrys window, and pretty much shuts him off from the world. Although it may seem to us that this is unnecessary force, it makes perfect sense. He’s grounding Harry for what he’s done. I know this may not have been Harrys fault because it was the weird alien faced gremlin thing Dobby who made it all happen, but Vernon doesn’t know this and is just trying to show Harry that magic is not appropriate for this situation. He’s put Vernon’s entire career on the line, why wouldn’t he be mad?

Also, the bars on the window might have more to them then we think, he’s trying to stop any wizards getting to Harry. Most obviously Voldemort but he doesn’t know who else might be after him in the wizard world. He’s taking every precaution he can think of. If you ask me that’s noble.

3. He Shows The Patience Of A Saint

There’s many points where Harry shows complete disregard for the rules of magic amongst muggles. He uses his evil devil powers against the Dursleys and causes them to all blow up like one of those blow fish. He blows them up to a massive size, and eventually to the point where he causes them to levitate as if they were helium balloons. They float away throughout London and they somehow survive the inevitable drop to their deaths.

Despite all of Harrys demonic acts Uncle Vernon still gives him a place to stay and a hot meal every night. To be honest, if I was him I’d just crawl into his bedroom and shoot the fucker in his sleep. That’s all he deserves, the ponce.

I think Vernon deserves a goddamn medal for all he’s done. Harry is just a little brat at the end of the day. Every response he gives is sarcastic, could you imagine living with that? Some magical teenager, who has the power to kill you with a wand. Vernon is living in 1984, but instead of big brother watching his every step it’s a hormonal teenage boy. Vernon has a whole pile of shit to deal with and he has to sleep with one eye open. Harry’s a monster, who abuses the whole Dursley family, and Vernon is showing patience beyond anything I’ve ever seen by not taking the freak out into the back garden and giving him a bullet straight into the back of his head.

                                          
                                                          And he's to put up with this prat.

4. He Cares

The only negative thing I could say about Vernon Dursley is probably that he cares too much. He hid all the letters Harry was receiving from Hogwarts, Hermione, and Ron. Which doesn’t really make sense since in the wizard world letters are delivered right into your hand by an owl. Nice going JK Rowling, your books don’t make any sense. Harry was pissed off he wasn’t receiving his messages. But can you blame Vernon? By this point Harry had almost died like a million times, he’s always going to do everything he could to stop the death of his nephew.

Harry and Vernon don’t see eye to eye very often, much like any father/son relationship. Vernon is doing his level best but Harry keeps pushing the boundaries every single time. Eventually he was left with no choice but to hide the letters and leave Harry in perpetual misery. Again, things like this will often toughen a person up, and is bringing Harry one step closer to becoming the super solider he needs to grow into to defeat Voldemort.

I salute you Vernon, there’s very few men in this world who risk so much to gain so little. You’re like Christ in a lot of ways.

                                           
                                                        Plus he's sexy as hell!





Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr